December, 1998
To: Local and national governmental agencies and media sources.
Re: "the institutionalizing of sexual discrimination"...and the supporting cast of our
nations "family court" and "family services" systems ...and the children who suffer..
It is with a great deal of personal sadness that I have felt compelled to write the attached paper and hopefully bring to your attention a mere sampling of the commonplace yet tragic reality for thousands of American families today. There are an estimated twelve million children in this country who are routinely denied access to their male parents and therefore one half of the important and necessary family system they represent.
Some months ago one of our local newspaper columnists wrote an article entitled, " motherhood without fathers is pathetic". Although some self serving individuals might debate the validity of the writers premise, this statement it is nonetheless quite true, and the evidence to support it is everywhere. What is truly "pathetic" however is that many individuals, and to some extent, institutions within our own government and those making political, career path, and economic gains in this arena are at the very core of the problem itself. Their unwillingness to address the critical role they play and any responsibility whatsoever for the tragic outcome produced is arrogant and elitist, and completely out of touch with reality. In fact, it appears that many of those referenced simply like things just as they are.
Over the past twenty years in this country fathers have been effectively deceived into believing that they are equal partners in the marital contract, only then to be cheated and systematically driven out of the lives of their children when the relationship or marriage comes to an end, either by design or as a matter of course, taking with them one half of an irreplaceable family system necessary for the proper and healthy raising of our nations children.
As a result, we may have created an entire generation or two of children and young adults who are anything but psychologically or emotionally intact, and who are now and will continue to pay us back for our collective stupidity. Blaming "the old man" for not being there at this point is very much like beating a horse with a stick, accusing him of bleeding, and then wondering why he might choose to leave... permanently. In my opinion there is no "anger management course" in the world designed to address this problem without an honest exploration of all facets of this issue and all participants in the process.
And while he may be sickened by the thought of being labeled a "deadbeat" in the eyes of his children and his community it is oftentimes preferable to the futile, painful and cost prohibitive exercise of beating his head against the discriminatory courthouse wall and its related systems time and time again in search of "equal protection under the law"; the grandest lie of all.
This is not an exercise in attorney or judicial or even family services system bashing. It is however a refusal to remain silent while decent people and families continue to be victimized by a system seemingly out of control, and more concerned about self perpetuation, self promotion, and self regulation coupled with an complete lack of accountability, and an absolute refusal to explore its part in this tragedy. The present systems which have created the post marital or post relationship gladiator school culture and mentality have also created the corresponding result and perhaps gross understatement of increased animosity, long standing bitterness, and oftentimes permanent division between parties who are in desperate need of an entirely different result and an environment appropriate for the creation of such an outcome. Instead of being encouraged to cooperate for the benefit of their children in a setting appropriate for such a task, all too many connected with the present method of conducting their business as usual are more concerned with their own agenda and winning for the sake of winning, and at a cost far too great for our community of children.
Should you wish to speak to any of the people referenced throughout please do not hesitate to contact me personally with such a request. While I certainly recognize that this
subject matter does create discomfort for some, it is very real pain and misery for all too many to ignore.
Thank you in advance for your time and your consideration of this effort.
Sincerely,
Bob Carrillo
Volunteer Positions
Director of Communications/ R-KIDS of Minnesota, Inc.
Member: Minnesota Supreme Court Task Force/ Parental Cooperation
Member: Commissioners advisory committee/ Mn. Dept. of Human Services
fax: 612-825-8767
work: 612-825-9110
The attached paper has been created
for distribution to local and national
media personnel, governmental agencies,
and other interested parties.
Bullies On The Bench
The institutionalizing of sexual discrimination
and... a sexual predator of a different sort
Most reasonable people would believe that the judicial branch of our government in particular is a place where people in it strive to protect and to serve our tax paying citizenry, and where the dispensing of justice impartially and without prejudice is the collective and ultimate goal of its elite membership. As the ultimate guardians of our Constitution and Bill of Rights these individuals have been entrusted by oath to provide equal protection under the law for all people regardless of race, creed, color of skin, national origin...or gender. While I am certain that there are those who regard our nations Constitution and Bill Of Rights as a nuisance with which to contend, it remains as the very foundation for everything we are as a country, state, community, and as a people; and those sworn to protect these ideals should be held to a very high standard.
Like myself, most of us have been taught from childhood that justice is blind and that it is the skillful presentation of evidence weighed carefully by a judge or jury which will determine the fair and equitable outcome of such proceedings. Most
of us have also been taught that painstaking care is routinely employed by this august body of individuals to insure that our Constitutional guarantee of "equal protection under the law" is never compromised. Most of us however may have missed the class entitled: "A practical legal guide or... how the system really works in Minnesota".
For all too many of our robed public servants justice may not be blind at all. In fact, it is painfully clear that far too many of our various county district court judges and referees are peeking around the judicial blindfold and blatant and raw sexual discrimination is the result. Playing fast and loose in an unbridled and completely unsupervised manner with respect to their various versions of "the law", brandished openly as their weapon of choice, while at the same time clinging to the protective shield of immunity, has created an atmosphere of unchecked and "god-like" public servants with the power to affect many lives in the wake of their own oftentimes questionable emotional stability and subsequent behavior. The presently acceptable public policy of blatant sexual discrimination within our Minnesota family courts in particular, and various family services systems [guardian ad Litem program, family court services, AFDC system, Department of Human Services,
child support and collection systems, etc.] has given rise to a massive and socially destructive epidemic and collective malfunction. The end result has been a much
greater deterioration of our Minnesota family systems, and most assuredly the oftentimes irreparable damage forced upon our community of Minnesota children; and all without one noticeable consequence to these public servants in the slightest.
With particular reference to far to many within the family court system this particular brand of sexual predator, whether elected or appointed, has to date been allowed to bring to "the Bench" all of his or her own personal emotional baggage, their quirks, peccadilloes and sometimes even emotional instability, all without one minute of pre-qualification in the form of even the most cursory psychological evaluation. The standards set for even our police or fire department personnel is far better than anything we have in place today for Minnesota judges and other family court personnel. Ironically, and although judges often court order litigants into undergoing extensive psychological evaluations (MMPI), they themselves are not required to do the same prior to being offered such critical positions of power, or even as an ongoing monitoring precaution for the benefit of a deserving public. Additionally, there is no required drug or alcohol evaluation or testing, although statistics would suggest that for this profession in particular testing should be mandatory and performed often. As opposed to the private sector, there are no prescreening interviews or ongoing annual review; no spot checking relating to ongoing performance or behavior. For the most part these public servants are allowed to monitor and police themselves.
In short, judges are questioned by no one and feared by a great many. Should one wish to appeal to a higher authority it will cost you thousands of dollars of money which you may not have, regardless of how ludicrous or incompetent their decision may appear on its face. And it is more likely than not that should you actually prevail at the appellate level, that court will pass the football back to the sometimes incompetent or even emotionally questionable offender to redo their own work. One can only speculate as to how well received such a request might be via a successful appeal. And if there is enough technical interpretive reference to "the law" mixed in with even the most bizarre behavior or written opinion you would be well advised not to even bother lodging a complaint with our Minnesota Board on Judicial Standards or The Lawyers Board Of Professional Responsibility. There, it is more likely than not that you will find cronyism at its worst.
Qualified with only a legal degree these individuals are placed into positions of unquestioned power and unchallenged authority, and the potential for power intoxication which can be compared to very few professions in our society. As a result, all too many of these individuals are unsupervised loose cannons on the deck to be certain. In the family law arena in particular it is our children paying dearly for this present circumstance and our lack of vigilance in this area.
On May 30,1995 Judge LaJune Thomas Lange held a press conference in her
Hennepin County Courtroom. Judge Lange broke the unwritten club rules, and at the same time demonstrating tremendous personal courage by making the following public statement relating directly to the judicial system of which she is a member: "there is a cancer growing on the judiciary in the State of Minnesota. The two most dreaded evils, abuse of power and cronyism have invaded the halls of justice." Judge Lange went on to state that : Judges are elected [or appointed] by the people to protect and uphold the rights of all the people under the Constitution." Although the circumstances relating to exactly why Judge Lange was forced to make such statements in such a public manner in order to defend her actions and therefore to protect the rights of a minor child in her judicial care are quite different than those addressed in this writing, I would like to assure the reader that the magnitude of these issues and the social relevance applicable, and therefore the absolute need to repeat the above statement of fact by Judge Lange loud, clear and often in present day society cannot be overemphasized. There is a cancer indeed growing within our Minnesota judicial system and it is our children who are now and will continue to pay the ultimate price for this reality, unless others of courage and decency are willing to stand up and do what is right and just to protect them.
A Symptom Of The Disease
For the astute observer, the most recent legislative session and pre-legislative hearings relating to a very critical family law issue could only be described as having degenerated into an intentional circus at the hands of some, and the continuation of an ongoing nightmare for others. Minnesota State Representative Andy Dawkins, at tremendous political risk to himself, stepped forward to present the catalyst for positive change and improvement relating to the Minnesota family law disaster which has plagued hundreds of thousands of Minnesotans for at least the past two decades.
The basic concept referred to as the "parenting plan" would have put an end to the label of "custody"or... the exclusive "property rights" to our children, and as a result, a great deal of the destructive post divorce battling between individuals relative to child custody and all of the "prizes" awarded to the so-called winner in the battle over our Minnesota children. Seven pre-legislative hearings were held throughout the state of Minnesota. Thousands of hours were dedicated to this valiant effort. Sadly, very few of our state Senators, particularly on the Democratic ["we care about Minnesota families"] side of the isle even bothered to show up.
Even during the session those in the majority, particularly in the Senate did absolutely everything possible to eliminate any possibility that this legislation would see the light of day in spite of so many other states having done so... Embarrassing!
In fact, my own state senator Jane Ranum flatly refused to give the bill even a hearing as the chairperson of the Minnesota Senate Judicial Committee. After multiple requests by me as a constituent and simply as an inquiry as to her thoughts on the subject Ms. Ranums response was to completely ignore my respectful requests for any explanation at all. She was not even courteous enough to return my telephone call. Not that it should matter but I am one of her tax paying constituents and I am still wondering why?... or better yet, why not?
The lineup of District Court Judges actively "lobbying" almost on a daily basis to maintain the business as usual status quo and therefore promoting their own self interest was absolutely shocking, but clearly against their own "cannons of ethics"; but what the heck! At the risk of being redundant, these are "sitting Judges"[judicial branch of government] actively LOBBYING against and therefore attempting to influence pending legislation [legislative branch of government] almost daily during a four month or so legislative session during normal business hours [court time]. And for those who have personally observed these same judges "legislate from their respective benches" none of their antics really comes as much of a surprise whatsoever.
First prize however is awarded to Ramsey County’s [every male is a controlling male and needs to be taken down a peg or two] Judge Mary Louise Klas. Judge Klas went so far as to mail a rather lengthy anti "parenting plan" memorandum to every judge in the State of Minnesota as a part of her personal lobbying effort. As an aside, I would personally like to know whether Judge Klas or Ramsey County paid the bill for the postage. In addition to which, whether on the Ramsey County Family Court bench or as a fellow member of the advisory committee/ child support enforcement division to the Minnesota Department of Human Services, or in testimony to our legislators as a lobbyist during the legislative session, Judge Klas makes no attempt to hide her feelings or her attitude about the male gender. As taxpayers is this the sort of individual we want affecting the lives of so many families and our children in particular as she is allowed to act out her own personal and unfinished emotional business, and as a result a rather obvious and sexist agenda on and off the "bench". Once again, "sexual discrimination is against the law". Should she not be held accountable as are we.
Hennepin County was well represented in the same fashion by[my father abandoned me when I was 10 years old and every male who comes into my courtroom is going to live in my childhood wounds] Judge William Howard, and [all men are abusers and all women are victims and in need of my personal and exclusive protection] Judge Diana Eagon. By their actions, all children are the personal property of women and you had better not disagree with that... or else.
Should you believe that any of the above is tongue in cheek humor go and see it for yourself as I have. These public servants are not alone nor the exception to the rule as one might hope.
It ain’t Minnesota nice
... it’s just real life for thousands who live here
In Anoka County there is Judge Gibbs who apparently believes that the sure fire way to put an end to any attempts on the part of a fourteen year old young lady’ s requests of her father to petition the court in order for her to live with her dad, her brother and other family members in a normal and healthy family environment is to punish them both by almost eliminating his court ordered visitation by issuing a court order which would only allow them to visit one another at a supervised visitation center once each month for a few hours. Of course, this young lady of fourteen couldn’t possibly be thinking clearly because she might express a wish to live with her dad and the rest of her siblings. Therefore, Judge Gibbs did court order the intervention of an "evaluator" in order to determine the root cause and validity of such a ridiculous request by this fourteen year old. There is no real need to tell you how the "evaluation" worked out beyond suggesting that the outcome was predictable. Let us also throw in over $1,500.00 of court costs and attorney fees for good measure and further punishment for Dad. Maybe now he’ll go away. In case you might be asking the next obvious question, the answer is that there has never been any accusation or allegation of inappropriate behavior on the part Dad in this real life example. Today this fourteen year old has had enough with the Judge, the county evaluators, the ridiculousness of the visitation center bit, and has withdrawn. While there is certainly more to this story which slides downward along the same shameful track, this is the direct result of an extremely lazy public servant and out of control Judge with serious emotional baggage and no authoritative body observing his behavior or willing to do anything about it.
Oh by the way, this father has an infant from his present marriage, two children from his present wife’s prior marriage living with them half time, and a son from the relationship discussed above all living in his home.... and he receives no child support from the child’s mother or any public assistance whatsoever and never has...and nobody cares. Meanwhile, the mother of the fourteen year old daughter voluntarily quit her job three years ago, has refused to regain employment, is collecting AFDC public assistance funds, and the working and financially struggling father and his family have been court ordered to repay the public authority (State Of Minnesota) for her income tax free AFDC payments for the past three years due to her State sponsored voluntary early retirement program, now labeled as "child support arearages". This man is also now obligated to pay ongoing child support (daughter) in the amount of $400.00 per month with absolutely no financial consideration given for the minor child (son) from the same marriage living in his home... By the way, just in case you might be thinking that this father is wealthy his total net income is less than $1,600.00 per month before the $400.00 is automatically deducted from his paycheck, while at the same time his ex-spouse in not required to work at all. In his home there are four children, two adults ,and no public assistance now or on the horizon. "Let them eat cake" on $1,200 a month.
Note: The Minnesota Department of Human Services and the Minnesota Attorney Generals Office would have you and I believe that the average child support order in the State of Minnesota is less than $170.00 per month. So, why all the fuss about such a paltry sum of money? Anyone who would not or could not pay this little bit of money for their child’s welfare should be regarded as a "deadbeat"... right?
You do the math!...............................................................................................................
Minnesota child support guidelines for one child is : 25% of net income. But, that’s just the beginning. If the average monthly child support "award" is for $170.00, then it must follow that the average net monthly income of the "obligor"in the State of Minnesota is :$680.00 X 12 ... or...$8,160.00 annually. Add back into the equation a tax bite of 35% and they would have you believe that the average gross income of the average child support payer in the State of Minnesota is $11,016 annually. Who’s kidding who?
In the past seven years of probing into this system I have never met anyone paying or receiving $170.00 of monthly child support or anything even the neighborhood of that figure. Additionally you can forget the 25% figure as well. That’s just the beginning, and if no one is watching, the range is from 45% to 85% or even more if you tack on spousal maintenance, and health and life and dental insurance, clothing cost allowance, activity fees, and yes, even a monthly allotment for bublegum and candy. And if there are more children than one you had better strap on your financial seat belt or go directly to your family doctor for a prescription for sedatives for the next 5,10,15, or 20 years or so. So why then would anyone
connected with the above mentioned state agencies attempt to deceive their employer... you and me? Since only about 30 cents on the dollar ever reaches the children we profess to love and care for...maybe... ,then why?
The child support and collection system and all of its various supporting and related agencies are big business... and business is good. The perpetuation of it in its present form is of primary importance, and therefore the "war" must continue. Should an atmosphere of cooperation and mutual responsibility relating to all facets of the post divorce raising of our children begin, including all financial
considerations, created by a "parenting plan" program as it has in many other states, a great many people connected with the present [KISS] "keep it simple stupid" process will have to begin looking for other jobs. Frankly, I would absolutely enjoy watching some of those I have met in the public sector actually have to work in the private sector where accountability is the mainstay of a successful venture, and some of their behavior might be accurately acknowledged as antisocial and inappropriate. Many of these people would not last a week.
Political Hay to be made
The next time you catch our Minnesota Attorney General "Skip" Humphrey’s radio or television "public service announcements" speaking to the so-called $640 million dollars of back child support owed to the State of Minnesota please know exactly where he is getting this figure[ mostly interest on top of interest on top of almost $400 million dollars of AFDC money for the most part:[ $18 million dollars per month]......and over the backs of the still working family described above and thousands more just like them. And, while his cousin Judge William Howard (lobbyist) and company help to perpetuate of this sort of reality for so many from their respective family court benches in Hennipen County and throughout Minnesota, cousin "Skip" appears to be very busy misleading the public into believing that the often repeated figure of $640 million dollars has any remote connection to actual child support dollars owed to anyone. Although "Skip" clearly wishes to use this deception to gain favor for the upcoming race to the Governors mansion, he has absolutely refused to address this issue publicly in an open forum. Why not?
More dysfunction leads to more pain, or...
power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
In Goodhue County Judge Robert King didn’t have the courage to stand up to an overzealous county attorney, Ms. Jan Davidson in her quest to absolutely bury an
overseas stationed air force airman financially by her insistence that this serviceman have automatically withheld from his $820.00 net monthly military pay the amount of $640.00 (78% of actual net income) for child support and for only one child, and therefore leaving him with $180.00 in his pocket each month; not nearly enough money to keep his own financial head above water and therefore enough income to actually remain in the United States Air Force and in good standing. Additionally, this airman was being denied appropriate visitation with his then 4 1/2 year old son for over a two year period. It wasn’t until this writer along with one very decent state legislator and a reporter from the Red Wing Republican Eagle (Article: "A Question of Fairness") in Red Wing, Minnesota became involved in this matter and showed up in Judge King’s courtroom per an emergency hearing that was held, and miraculously all parties including the judge managed to gain instant wisdom in this matter, and thus correcting this blatant miscarriage of justice. Once again, Minnesota child support guidelines are presently at 25% of net income for one child. This could be a math problem or...something else. This serviceman’s child support was subsequently reduced to an appropriate $200.00 per month, and he is now actually seeing his now 5 1/2 year old son when he is home on military leave. Goodhue County Attorney Jan Davidson is an individual who needs to be watched very carefully on into the future. She is blatantly sexist. Judge King is in my estimation an individual lacking in moral courage, common sense, and perhaps in over his head.
Who says it can’t get worse...
a four and one half year and continuing nightmare.
" after all, it’s all for the kids you know"
In Washington County the tag team courtroom brutality demonstrated by Judge Donald Venne and Judge Stephen Muehlberg coupled with the incompetence and gender specific antics of Guardian ad Litem Mary Buxton and Washington County Attorney Susan Tice truly demonstrates just how legal terrorism and sexual discrimination can be witnessed up close and personal. With relentless precision and without even a shred of noticeable conscience these public servants appear to be willing and quite able to destroy a decent and hard working man, father and husband; and more importantly, the relationship between he and his family...his children.....and Nobody’ watching!
On Friday, July 10,1998 this individual I have come to know well over the past three years was slated to begin a ninety day jail sentence for failing to pay $9,100 of back child support for the past two and one half years [recollection of AFDC funds dispensed by the State of Minnesota to a recently self admitted welfare fraud]. This gentleman was found to be in contempt of court by Judge Stephen Muehlberg on
June 3,1998 after over four months of certainly painstaking, soul searching and very careful post hearing deliberation on the matter, and four months after an Administrative Law Judge found a great deal of evidence to support an opposing view.
Due to a business partners ill health two and one half years ago this man was forced to take over an extremely personalized business entirely or lose the business completely. Incidentally, this was a business he was involved in even during his prior marriage as a full partner, and not a new venture at all. In order to do what was required of him and save his business he was forced to quit his additional full
time job with one of the big local newspapers, or... continue to work over 100 hours per week between both jobs and possibly shorten his life by attempting to do so.
Two and one half years ago this man attempted in vain to convince the public authority through a motion before an " Administrative Law Judge " that all of the above was indeed true and made an appropriate request for a reduction in child support and spousal maintenance to a level commensurate with Minnesota statutes and guidelines. The ALJ indicated that she felt that he was obligated to continue to work both jobs and to do otherwise was equal to "voluntary underemployment"[ a label apparently exclusive to male litigants only]....."motion denied" The child support order/ spousal maintenance/ insurance, actually equaled just under 100% of this mans net income...but pay up or else was her order. This decision by the ALJ left this man with $78 per month in his pocket for the past two and one half years should he have been able to comply.
On a separate track four years ago, at the outset of the marital dissolution process, and although joint custody was recommended by a licensed psychologist at that time, Washington County Guardian ad Litem, Mary Buxton recommended sole legal and sole physical custody to this mans soon to be ex-spouse. When this gentleman complained to the GAL [guardian at law for the welfare of the children] that he was not being allowed to see his children in accordance with the Courts Order [weekend visitation] her response was, according to this individual:
"why don’t you just pay the support and forget about your kids". Nothing I have personally witnessed about this GAL’s behavior, attitude or performance during the past year and a half would suggest that this man is guilty of embellishment in the slightest. This man still lives in a town of 18,000 people as do his minor children and has not seen his children for over four and one half years, thanks to the efforts of this public servant. No allegations of wrong doing toward his children or his
ex-spouse then or now. No drinking, no smoking, no philandering...ever. In fact, the strongest allegation offered up in testimony is that some may find him to be a bit boring; an offense punishable by death somewhere on the planet... but not here.. yet.
Each time this man has approached the Washington County System, the district court judges involved, the Guardian ad Litem personnel, or the county attorneys office he has been met with ever increasingly greater resistance and an absolute disregard for his civil rights beyond my ability to describe...with one recent exception.
On February 10, 1998, Washington County Administrative Law Judge Marikay Canaga Litzau heard the respectful outcry from this man to review the facts relating to this his employment situation once more. Not only did this ALJ do her homework but she made a choice not to go along to get along. Although the findings were not perfect, it was clear that this man had been telling the truth for all of the past two and one half years about his financial situation and that the massive "arearages" accumulated during that time frame were created from air, sometimes referred to as [imputed income].
On February 13,1998 ALJ Litzau issued an order reducing this mans obligation down to a more reasonable level.... Once more, please keep in mind that on June 3,1998 Judge Muehlberg ignored the Administrative Law Judges findings and conclusions, and sentenced this man to ninety days in jail unless he could manufacture money from thin air, and literally do what anyone remotely conscious and connected with this case for even fifteen minutes knew was impossible to do without help from outside sources. This man has no savings, no retirement plan, no stocks, no bonds, and he is living on less than $400 per month even after the reduction. In fact, it is not so long ago that Judge Donald Venne actually "found" this man to be so financially strapped that he (Venne) granted him a public defender at a substantially reduced legal cost in order that he might actually have some form of legal representation in this matter.
When this fellow and his attorney most recently approached the "public authority" with an offer of a monthly payment plan while the matter was being appealed to the Minnesota Court of Appeals, Judge Muehlberg and the county attorney Susan Tice rejected the proposal, and angered by the fact that he had to miss time from his vacation Judge Muehlberg issued an additional order that the gentleman was now required to post a "superceedious bond" in an amount equal to twice the funny money arearage or ... $20,000. That is twice the "purge condition" required by law for the "finding" of contempt even if the "arearages" were on the up and up. Coming as no surprise to anyone this man did not qualify for the bond due to his poor financial condition..."Catch 22". His mother of almost 70 years of age was forced to lend to her son $9,000 from her small retirement savings in order to keep her son out of jail which would have surely caused him to lose his business entirely.
This is the same Judge Muehlberg and his predecessor Judge Venne who have refused to acknowledge his legitimate "motions" to hold his former spouse in contempt for refusing to pay $6,000 of credit card debt ordered by the court over four years ago. And guess who is presently being sought after to pay those debts due to her refusal to accept this responsibility, and whose credit is absolutely ruined as a result. This is the same set of bookend judges who have ignored the fact that this mans ex-spouse has admitted to hiding her underground income from AFDC authorities, althewhile collecting AFDC benefits under fraudulent conditions, to say nothing of defrauding the State and Federal taxing authorities for the past four and
one half years as well. This is the same set of tax paid judges who have completely ignored this mans plea for help in order for him to have some sort of normal relationship with his children prior to them all reaching the age of majority...[now ages 11,13,17,20]. In short, while Judges Venne and Muehlberg have gone far out of their way to hold this father to a standard well beyond the absurd they have also made a conscious decision to hold his ex-spouse to no acceptable adult standard whatsoever. This mans ex-wife can apparently do no wrong, or perhaps we have a different sort of problem here.
And what of the children one might ask. They are as one might expect and not particularly intact. They have not been allowed to have a normal relationship with their father due to a condition sometimes referred to as "parental alienation", and the conditioning process has been relentless and thorough for almost five years. With the direct assistance of Washington County Guardian ad Litem, Mary Buxton who has insisted upon some form of "reunification counseling" in order to see any light at the end of the tunnel relative to recommending any new visitation schedule whatsoever for this man and his children, only to then inform this man that his ex-spouse refuses to participate in the recommended counseling in the end... "Catch 22" again. It is worth repeating that this man has never been accused of any wrong doing relating to his former spouse or his children either during or after the marriage. This is nothing short of a circular nightmare which has been supported by and to a large extent manufactured by a "guardian ad litem" who has been charged with the serious responsibility of making all decisions and motions before the court with"the best interests of the children "as her only consideration...BY LAW!
Please keep in mind that Ms. Buxton has been there from the beginning and has done everything possible to block the relationship between this man and his children, successfully employing a passive aggressive and do nothing style throughout the past four and one half years. In spite of a great deal of power given
to her by the court and the guardian ad litem program she has literally stood by and watched as these four children have been systematically denied access to their father for all of this very critical and irreplaceable time in the lives of these young people. When pressed recently by several people including the new GAL program director via an informal complaint, Ms. Buxton reacted to the complaint by asking the above named judge per a motion before his court that she be removed from the case... Judge Muehlberg granted her motion...she has accomplished her mission. Ms. Buxton had a tremendous responsibility to represent " the best interests of the children"and did nothing to address this obligation to them or the Minnesota tax payers who paid her salary.
The Bottom Line
The claim from some is that our nations problem with its youth; increased crime
and violence, an epidemic of teenage pregnancy and drug use, and the creation of an entire group of young people without conscience is the direct result of increased fatherlessness in American society. According to national statistics, by the year 2000 one half of our homes in America will be single parent households where the only parent available is almost exclusively "Mom", assuming she is there at all. Then why is it that we are chasing more and more of these fathers away from their children, only to blame them when things go terribly wrong later.
The larger question is, why is our Minnesota court system and Department of Human Service system so completely callous when that same father is forced to change occupations, or take a lesser paying job due to special circumstances or disability, or in short, demonstrate a legitimate change in financial circumstances and receive absolutely no consideration whatsoever for these real life altering situations. And as a result why is it perfectly proper for him to live in abject poverty attempting to keep pace with incomprehensible child support and spousal maintenance court orders or...do jail time for simply not being able to keep up and do the impossible. While at the same time where is it written that "mom" is allowed to quit working , receive AFDC benefits with no questions asked, completely deny court ordered visitation to "dad" without any fear of consequence whatsoever, and generally disregard any court ordered obligation or responsibility and rest assured that very few people in authority will even raise an eyebrow, let alone actually hold her in contempt for anything.
How many times must we endure having to hear a judge say " Well, what do you want me to do, put her in jail?" Yet, there are many men in Minnesota jails today, having been found to be in "contempt" of court routinely due to situations like those previously described. In fact, and based upon personal observation, oftentimes "dad" must almost prove sainthood in order to aquire even parody throughout the process, while "mom" can be a crack cocaine user and alcoholic and still be regarded as the stronger candidate for "custodial " parent and all the goodies which follow.
The questions above are all rhetorical of course. The answer is quite simple. We live in a State where sexual discrimination is rampant within the entire system and our children are suffering as a result, and in many ways are terribly victimized by the very people we pay and entrust with their care. What makes this situation so insidious is that oftentimes there is no one person or department head to point to as the one single culprit which might lead us to a simple solution. We suffer from a collective mindset and presently acceptable discriminatory public policy within our court systems which in some sense says it allright for a thirty two year old teacher to take a fifteen year old child across state lines [interstate transport of a minor] with the intent and purpose of committing statutory rape... as long as the rapist is not male and the victim is not female.
We somehow accept the fact that a person can take out their rage on their spouse by planning and executing the act of pouring boiling water on their spouse while they sleep and then beating them with a large metal"club"in a clear attempt to kill or maim, and then justify charging that person with simple assault instead of attempted murder as long as the person receiving the beating is male and the perpetrator is female... after all he probably did something to deserve it...right?
And of course, when an individual attempts to stop the physical beating of a four year old child by its parent in an attempt to save the child’s very life, and in doing so is forced to restrain this offending parent and then calling the authorities for assistance we arrest the good Samaritan and grant an "order for protection"in favor of the child abuser so that we can protect the child abuser instead of the child...as long as the abuser is female of course. The four year old girl is now dead and beyond the reach of anyone who could have and should have prevented this tragedy.
"Ask not what your country can do for you,
ask what you can do for your country"
JFK
How about the case of the Viet Nam veteran who for the past several years or so has been attempting to tell the public authority that he has been suffering terribly from a now professionally diagnosed case of post traumatic stress disorder and as a result has been severely limited in his ability to earn a normal income. Our local government was not impressed. Hennepin County Attorney Thomas Aarestad and Judge Catherine Anderson decided to "impute" income against this man which has
created a $41,000 bill owed to the county for back child support. The "guestimation" of ongoing income where income does not exist called "imputed income", although commonplace in situations like this one has created massive bills owed to various counties throughout the State of Minnesota relating to thousands of people just like you and me, and literally from thin air.
The federal government has recently found this man to be totally disabled due to his legitimate claim of "post traumatic stress disorder" [PTSD]brought on by his military combat experience as a United States serviceman in the Viet Nam war. The United States Social Security Administration has retroactively to 1992 found this man to be totally disabled and issued a "compensation" check in the amount of approximately $30,000. An additional compensation check of approximately
$15,000 was also issued to his children as a dependent social security benefit which should have offset any so called child support arearage owed.
Hennepin County authorities, having rejected his ongoing claims of disability for many years, resulting in the $41,000 judgment, but have now seized over $20,000 of his disability compensation check given to him by the federal government and the Social Security Administration. It is also worth mentioning that such a "compensation check" is not deemed to be "taxable" income to the recipient because it represents compensation for a disability claim, and I might add is a disability which, according to Hennepin County authorities does not exist.
By their recent actions Hennepin County authorities have acknowledged the legitimacy of this individuals ongoing claims of disability for many years and therefore should be obliged to retroactively address the entire matter from the beginning of his bureaucratic nightmare, including the resulting $41,000 debt. Instead, the authorities suspended his drivers license for a time, which made it even more difficult for him to receive the necessary and recommended medical treatment he deserves, and have most recently issued a warrant for his arrest for contempt. Additionally, County Attorney Thomas Aarestad, in spite of the expressed court order of Judge Anderson was to have taken no collection action of the social security compensation funds until a future order by the court, and that these funds were to have remained with the Social Security Administration until further notice. Mr. Aarestad decided to take matters into his own hands and seized the funds anyway. There are apparently no rules here for Mr. Aarestad and company.
Maybe Time And Distance Will Make You finally Go Away...
... But Be Careful where you go.
A Hennepin County man was divorced in this jurisdiction a few years ago. He was of course deemed to be the non-custodial parent of his then two and one half year
old daughter, given a visitation schedule and obliged to pay over a thousand dollars per month for child support.
His ex-spouse apparently concluded that any visitation at all was not to her liking and decided to engage in an unannounced overnight move to Beltrami County, and specifically to Bemidji, Minnesota shortly thereafter, in order to further reduce his
contact with their child. After all, it may not be written down anywhere, however as a practical matter, this child is considered to be her personal property via "sole custody" in the State of Minnesota to do with what she will.
The Minnesota town of Bemidji was at one time this "custodial mom’s" home town and where her very influential parents still reside. Since she was employed by Northwest Airlines as a flight attendant it was a simple matter for her to fly in and out of the Twin Cities freely and at no cost to herself and then on to other destinations in order for her to work. However, for the childs father it became a nine hour round trip event every couple of weeks simply to maintain any contact with his daughter whatsoever, which to the surprise of his now ex-spouse is exactly what he did. The miscalculation on her part was that this father loved his daughter enough to do anything in order to see her. The result was the initiation of plan (b)...
Mom’s parents apparently have a fair amount of political and financial influence in this small town including the local family services authorities and the judiciary.
After a while they decided that the scheduled and court ordered visits had become an inconvenience. Mom decided to petition the local Family Court and make a motion before that court to move from Minnesota to Washington State due to "upcoming marital plans". This case finally ended up on the bench of a friend of the family, Beltrami County District Court Judge Paul Rassmussen. Permission granted... Have a nice day Dad, and good luck traveling three thousand miles round trip every two weeks... but do not miss a payment, or else.
The local court appointed Guardian ad Litem Lois Kopp was basically useless, and even when this man’s daughter would visit the grandparents in Bemidji from time to time the father was intentionally kept out of the information loop or deceived into believing that his daughter was not actually visiting the State of Minnesota on those occasions. On one occasion in particular this father made the four and one half hour trip from Minneapolis to Bemidji for his daughters birthday, and was then told by his ex-spouse and her parents that his child was not in Minnesota when in fact that was not the case. It was not until he returned to Minneapolis that he discovered the truth via the hapless Guardian ad Litem. In short, it would appear that all governmental and bureaucratic cards were stacked against this Dad...and as a long term and life altering practical matter, his now five year old daughter as well.
No qualified attorney in the Beltrami County area would take the case and assist this father due to their knowledge of all of the interrelated and very interested parties involved in this case. In fact, one attorney actually confessed to this man that he was wasting his time and his money attempting to fight this sort of battle in that jurisdiction considering the individuals involved.
Dad’s decision has been to pursue his desire to remain a part of his daughter’s life through the Washington State Family Court and Guardian ad Litem system. As opposed to Minnesota, Washington State does take a very dim view of this sort of behavior on the part of any parent who would willfully deny access of one parent or the other to their children. Mom’s antics and long standing behavior pattern relating to this issue is presently being monitored very carefully by the Washington
State authorities...Dad is now seeing his daughter much more frequently now and... To the best of everyone’s knowledge "Mom" never did remarry.
As an aside, Washington State is one of many states in this country which have for some time now enacted a common sense and much more humane "parenting plan" approach to the post divorce child rearing process as an alternative to the "sole custody"or sole ownership of children approach used in Minnesota.
Everybody’s Doing Great...Right?..
...Executing them would be more merciful
How about the gentleman who was so completely destitute due to the incomprehensible nature of his child support payments in Hennepin County that he was forced to live in a basement corridor of one of the Twin Cities banking institutions for over three years, and actually slept on a rolled up mat on the floor by night and working as a bank employee by day.
For over three years this man did not have benefit of a normal day to day environment that you and I take very for granted. Adding insult to injury, this man has not had normal visitation with his twin daughters, now ages 14, for the past four years due to an extreme case of "denied visitation" and "parental alienation", which no one seems to care about, coupled with a complete lack of financial means with which to fight back, and a judge ( Judge Diana Eagon) involved in this case who gives new meaning to the words shameful and disgraceful.
Then there’s Judge Lynch in Dakota County who is well named because he aparently believes that if you are male, then " you had just better learn to live on what’s left over Mr._______" after he gets through with you. Neither his behavior nor his court orders have any remote connection with common sense or decency whatsoever.
So what if you don’t have enough money left over to get your own apartment for you and your children after I take your home away from you and reduce your income down to a net of $100 per month. What’s the big deal if I force you to live with your elderly parents in their 70’s, and then force you to visit with your children at a community park because you have no where else to go. And why should I care that your children of ages 4..10..13 are left completely alone while their "mom" simply takes off until she decides to come home...whenever. And why in God’s name should I care that all three of your children regard you as the stable force in their lives, and that they have gone to great lengths to convince everybody that they wish to live with you because you have always been their primary caregiver. After all, I am the Judge here and I can do anything I damn well please.... and he does...
often.
I could go on... but you either have the point by now
... or you don’t care
A Civilized Society ?
Multiply the above real life examples and all of the other bizarre variations of these situations by thousands and then and only then will you even begin to understand the problem, and therefore come closer to a solution.
When a government, by its actions, somehow believes that it is perfectly fine for one group of people to be denied access to their children for years, or even completely when they have done nothing to deserve such treatment, and by virtue of their gender only, we have an obligation to refer to that government as immoral. When that same government by similar actions deems it appropriate to force people to pay out more in child support than they actually earn or be sent to jail, we must refer to this as indentured servitude and or economic slavery, and then question seriously the sanity of people making such decisions. When the public authority is arrogant enough to believe that a certain group of people should actually sit still for being
forced to support children who are not even their own, or for them to be coerced into repaying the public treasury because the public authority was dumb enough to pay out funds to another party who would refuse to work themselves, we are in serious trouble as a society.
On a lighter note, yet still a very serious example, while it is almost slapstick comedy when we witness on television, movies or even in real life, as in the case of the former
Minnesota State Senator Kevin Chandler, a woman slapping or even beating a man, there is no such consideration given to him for the same behavior even in the same time frame. This attitude and behavior is wrong regardless of who or what sex you are.
When an adult woman is a pedophile and commits a rape of a fifteen year old, or attempts to murder her husband in his sleep, why do we immediately begin looking for excuses for her behavior, and someone else to blame for her crime so that we can label her as a victim come hell or high water. Should women not be treated the same as any man who commits the same crime. The answer is quite simple really.
The double standard of blatant sexism employed by far too many in our society with special emphasis on those in government today is the common thread which runs throughout this entire family court and family services process and all of its ancillary agencies from top to bottom. And while other states in this country are a long way passed beginning to address this problem and taking steps in order to correct this injustice, Minnesota lags woefully behind for a variety of very peculiar social, economic and political reasons. However, sexual discrimination is what it is, and what it will continue to be until some decent people still left in authority step forward to do something about this reality.
The Bottom Line
From personal witness over the past several years I can tell you with no uncertainty that in Minnesota especially all systems are geared to beat post divorce fathers and all of their extended families into submission, and into the role of "visitor" and therefore a stranger to his children. In fact, many people here have not seen their children or grandchildren for many years. Situations like those described in this writing and the thousands more like them have been responsible for a serious breakdown in our Minnesota family systems to an embarrassing degree. The resulting social problems directly and indirectly attributable to this phenomenon can hardly be measured any longer. The immoral abuse of power by all too many "custodial parents" and far too many of those in authority has gone on unchecked
for so many years that we have become numb to it. Nonetheless, we are in desperate need of immediate change.
The opposition to these changes have shown themselves for who and what they are in this matter for quite some time now, and are comprised mostly of self serving individuals and organizations who like things just as they are. For them, business is good, and business as usual is their ultimate goal. Our children of Minnesota are to them acceptable casualties of war, and the needs of these children are subordinate to their own. In my travels over the past several years it has been difficult if not impossible to determine which one of the culprits is truly worse, or if it is as simple as a collective thought process driven by the type of pathology or "groupthink" which any historian would tell us has raised its ugly head from time to time throughout history, and represents the very worst of what we can be as human beings.
In closing , and in keeping with the message from the previous paragraph, I would like to say to those I have referenced above that I do not believe for one minute that our Minnesota children are acceptable casualties at all. This message is specifically for the following people and groups who have gone to extraordinary lengths to keep
Minnesotans in the dark ages with respect to these issues: Minnesota Bar
Association lobbyists, The Department of Human Services lobbyists, The Minnesota Attorney General, Mr. Humphrey and his lobbyists, The (for women only) Domestic Abuse Project lobbyists, The Minnesota Women’s Trial Lawyers Association lobbyists, The various actively lobbying county District Court Judges and Referees and Guardians ad Litem personnel, the various factions of the Minnesota Battered Women’s (women only) Coalition and their lobbyists, The Legislative Commission on the Economic Status for Women (only) lobbyists, and all those I may have inadvertently forgotten to mention...
... my apologies to them
The following recommendations are dedicated to
memory of Miss Lydia Healy who died needlessly
at the age of four and per the incompetence of the
Anoka County Authorities who might have prevented
this tragedy.
Suggestions For A Kinder And Gentler future
...Especially for our children
1. Establish a civilian review board for legitimate complaints relative to members
of the judicial system, and hold them accountable for their behavior and
performance on and off the bench. Perhaps review the immunity issue when
these individuals fail to perform to an acceptable standard and as a result cause
personal injury to litigants and their families due to incompetence or negligence.
2. Monitor the behavior of judges and referees during courtroom proceedings as a
spot checking mechanism from time to time should there be cause to do so per
the decision of a civilian review board. Serious consequences or dismissal much
like those for other public employees such as police or fire department personnel
should apply.
3. A similar system should also apply to all other family court personnel including
and especially the Guardian ad Litem program and County Attorney personnel.
4. Judicial employees should be prohibited from any form of legislative lobbying
directly or indirectly while they still perform any active service on any
courtroom bench. After all, it is their job to enforce the laws of the state and
not create them or oppose them to suite their own purposes.
5. Institute periodic and mandatory drug and alcohol testing when substance abuse
is suspected by a civilian review board or other supervisory body.
6. Insist that county attorneys must enforce existing laws relative to unlawful
denial of parental visitation or parenting time as ordered by the court, and
that the penalties for such violations of the law are actually enforced uniformly
and consistently and fairly, and not per the discretion of the bench. I have heard
that accountability produces responsibility.
7. Make the presumption under the law that both parents and therefore their
extended families should have equal standing with regard to children of
divorce, without any special consideration based upon gender. Further, it
would then be presumed that both parents would be required to share in all
responsibilities, financial and otherwise relating to the future raising of their
children. Per a "parenting plan" at the outset of divorce each party would be
required to submit their proposal created jointly or separately that would, while
presuming all of the above, establish a cooperative plan for the future raising of
their children.
8. Actively seek out and eliminate all sexual discrimination from this entire system
of family law and family services in practice or as a part of any present public
policy or state agency. Create a public commission on sexual discrimination of
any kind, and do more than pay lip service toward the elimination of this clear
violation of the law.
9. Be decent, and kind to our community of children by taking this writing
seriously. And in doing so, be creative and willing to take any steps necessary
to put an end to a destructive and sexist system which is clearly not working, and
is in fact destroying our children and causing so much pain for so many.
10. Please use common sense and do all of the above... and more.
Robert A. Carrillo
Director of Communications
R-Kids of Minnesota, Inc.
personal Fax: 612-825-8767
member/ Commissioners Advisory Committee
Minnesota Department of Human Services
child support enforcement division