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Upon returning to Minneapolis / St. Paul on Labor Day evening, and a quiet holiday weekend, I was stunned to hear of the tragic death(s), and murder/suicide of young Mikayla Tester and her Dad, John (Johnny) Tester during the prior weekend. I have since been on the edge of outrage, tears, and a heaviness all this week following this horrible and very preventable disaster-a heaviness that I cannot really explain to myself because I have seen so much of the same during the past thirteen years.
Only the words avoidable and pathetic waste and horrible tragedy came to mind-and I was infuriated far beyond my normal limits. An overwhelming collision of thought and emotion grabbed hold to a personal and silent outcry of-another parent stripped of everything including his dignity, branded as a "loser" in the eyes of everyone including his only child, and simply pushed too far. Mercilessly pushed beyond his limits by a behemoth of an out of control family court "system" without one shred of "checks and balances", oversight, or conscience attached to it. Everyone has that breaking point where hopelessness, helplessness and humiliation collide, and John Tester reached his-but it didn’t have to be that way.
As a member of R-KIDS of Minnesota, Inc. (Remember Kids In Divorce Settlements / 1984) since 1992, and as the Director of Communications for the Minnesota based "Children’s / Family" rights organization since 1994-- and on the heals of my portion of a recent presentation to the Minnesota Supreme Court / "Listening Session on Children in the Minnesota Courts" on August 24, 2004, I was leveled by the timely and gut-wrenching connection to this family nightmare, and so much of the same for so many Minnesota families I have encountered over these many years.
Having served for many years as a volunteer on a state-wide advisory committee connected to the Minnesota Department of Human Services, multiple "Task Force" activities, including one Minnesota Supreme Court "Parental Cooperation" Task Force, I have become intimately familiar with the attitudes and deep seeded arrogance of those in authority who have brought us to this social services nightmare-an ongoing nightmare for the Tester / Olson families...and all of us too. Compliments of an increasingly convoluted and multilayered family court / services "system" and DHS machine, and as many correctly view as the State of Minnesota family "wrecking machine", it is absolutely impossible to accept their insane premise that all of this horrible detritus can possibly be "for the children".
For those who truly understand the inner-workings of Minnesota’s irreparably dysfunctional under-the-radar-screen "Family Court" System, and the interwoven, interconnected, multi-layered "family services" system(s), coupled with the ancillary private sector "stakeholders" groups and "players"-and...willing to tell the truth and the whole truth...the Tester / Olson family tragedy will hardly raise an eyebrow of surprise-except of course as a marketing opportunity to generate political and economic hay, and actively seek to profit by this grotesque byproduct of their handy-work. In short, the Tester / Olson family disaster has become closer to the norm than not in the State of Minnesota, and in one way or another the true promotion of maintaining intact Minnesota families ranks dead last in terms of priority. It’s the "system" stupid...and we must protect it at all cost they say.
Unfortunately, Minnesota "children" in particular have evolved into a very lucrative commodity for many who have hitched their career wagons to them like they were cattle or hogs, or sheep, as they routinely insert themselves into Minnesota families at every turn, one pretext upon another, and to the very real detriment and pain of hundreds of thousands of Minnesotans who have experienced the arrogance and wrath of this growing bureaucratic organism up-close-and-personal. It’s one long, painful, and seemingly never-ending foul ball, which never appears to come down to earth.
Today, there are thousands of participants connected to the infrastructure of this family court monster, and not one who will take responsibility for the current result, for the Tester family, or any of the thousands of variations on the same theme swept under their collective rug for the past twenty-five years-not one. In fact, there are many "stakeholders", public and private sector alike, tripping over one another in their per usual passive aggressive style of behavior, and heading for the exits to avoid any responsibility or culpability whatsoever. When there is so much irrefutable and damaging evidence pointing in their direction as witting participants in this tragic activity of fracturing Minnesota families, those responsible are quite busy masking their activity behind the façade of "the best interest of the children" as a meaningless prop in this tragic play.
While all the facts supported by outcome point the finger of absolute responsibility in their direction, they continue to aggressively engage in using children as a shield in order to protect "the best interests of the system", and not Minnesota families. The "system" has evolved into a collective and closely guarded "jobs program", and in my opinion, to them, the casualties are acceptable. In and of itself, this vicious cycle alone is just as pathetic and equally as tragic.
This Tester family tragedy has been, and will continue to be just one more statistic and Minnesota family tragedy amongst so many, swept under the "public authority" rug, and conveniently and simplistically misfiled in order to protect those who truly share the guilt relating to the untimely deaths of young Mikayla Tester as well as her father, John. The domestic abuse "advocates" (the operative word being "advocate") will completely blame "the father" based solely upon his being male and look no further, and then blame the authorities who they would contend should have completely eliminated Mr. Tester and perhaps his entire family from the life of young Mikayla Tester right from the start, all the while taking great care to completely avoid looking at the genesis of the problem and their collective responsibility for adding "gasoline" to this family fire.
For the public authority however, the good news is that the Ramsey County Judge(s), Referees, Magistrates, child support collection personnel, guardian ad litem office, and others, can now clear their calendar of this one, once and for all. This will remain as a clear case, among far too many, of "the operation was a success-but the patients died"-literally.
Said differently, and to a graphic purpose, the present "system" is designed thusly. There are defacto winners and losers established right out of the family court / family services gate in this counterproductive race to the courthouse. One parent and set of grandparents and additional family members are deemed to be the "custodial" and or the controlling family, and the other parent and the entire family system they represent are deemed to be nothing more than oftentimes unwelcome ultra-part-time "visitors", and...completely lacking control over any time and any decision making relating to the children involved-if they are even that lucky. Add the additional tools of ignorance (too many to mention at this time) readily available to the "winner", and we have a recipe for a Minnesota family disaster in the making.
Having personally witnessed the open and repeated maltreatment of litigants by arrogant Judges and family court personnel for many years, in a obvious attempt on their part to punish one parent into submission and into "going away", by breaking them down economically and emotionally in to doing so. This is living testament to the arrogance, incompetence, and shortsightedness of a system more concerned about its own power and control, and not at all about the public good and its is obligation to serve. This behavior pattern also speaks loud and clear to the reality that these matters are not legal questions. Rather these issues are matters of public health and mental health, and are best left in the hands of professionals truly qualified to address these matters appropriately, and to a more logical conclusion. Although many with their hands in the "cookie jar" would disagree, it is abundantly clear that the present "system" has employed a Neanderthal approach to these issues and style "gladiator school" mentality, and to suggest that it is not working would be a classic understatement. The lesson learned as a member of the Minnesota Supreme Court "Parental Cooperation" Task Force for seventeen miserable months of my life in the late 90’s, rings truer today than at that time--Mikayla and John Tester would be alive today if we had only started from a better place and process, thereby creating a completely different outcome.
Increasing in numbers yearly, there are many Minnesota parents and families, who have not seen their children for many years, and who have been systematically bullied over long periods of time into abandoning their children entirely. Inconceivable to most people unfamiliar with the abyss of the Minnesota’s family court system, and the behind-close-doors nature of it, it is hard to imagine that without any wrongdoing whatsoever on the part of a parent, and to simply to avoid the emotional pain and financial hardship of repeatedly engaging a system more concerned about protecting itself rather than doing what is right and just for the children and families involved, that anyone would actually abandon their children and walk away. But it happens all the time. As I have said many times, "it is like systematically beating a horse with a stick-then accusing the horse of bleeding-and when survival is all that is left, and the animal has had enough beatings--sees a chance to escape and leave the barn for good, we then proclaim that the horse was no damned good anyway." And of course, while the horse is trapped in the barn prior to "his" escape, should he lash out at those engaging in his systematic torture by kicking the object of his humiliation and misery, we would no doubt accuse the horse of "domestic violence", and perhaps insist upon an anger management class in order to deal with such anti-social behavior. Imagine that.
Recently, per example, I have suggested that, "if you take away my home or my money, I can rebuild my home perhaps and replace the money. However, if in addition you permanently take my children from me in part or on total, humiliate and dehumanize me to the core, then immerse me into a "rigged" family court system... with no rules of conduct for its members-no system in place to assess the ongoing emotional stability of the "judges" (as would normally apply to police and fire department personnel per example)-establish a predetermined outcome with no rules of evidence-"guilt by accusation" as an effective move in the race-to-the-courthouse-chess-match-zero oversight for the gods with "black robe disease", strip me of every ounce of my dignity as well...and then call it a "court of law" to boot, what have you left me-and exactly what do you expect from me as a response? If we are over exaggerating by half, this would be enough to declare this a societal disaster zone in desperate need of repair...and fast.
Can all those connected with this medieval "trial by ordeal" and keep-it-simple-stupid process, and this tragic outcome clear their conscience is what will remain as the real question here. Unfortunately, the answer is...probably yes-but you would have to meet many of them, as I have, in order to truly understand how or...why?
So as to avoid compounding the tragedy of Mykayla and John Tester from dying in vain by not asking the right questions here, perhaps now would be a good time for those in authority to test the "chicken and the egg" theory, honestly and with integrity and seek to find out how and why this has gotten so far out of control. Perhaps we should express a bit more curiosity about all of those rubber stamped "orders for protection" when child custody is on the table as an example; the genesis of them, and any potential agenda attached to them.
While we mourn for the Tester / Olson family tragedy and the growing despair which led up to it, we must begin by asking tough questions about all of those court dates in front of so many Ramsey County family court judges and referees and magistrates, starting with Judge Michael Fetsch, and so on and so on and so on. Perhaps we should want to find out what went so terribly wrong for this family so that we may avoid the next tragedy of its kind just over the horizon-and it is coming to be certain. You see, suicides and homicide/suicides around the country amongst people just like John Tester is on the steady increase and sharply different in proportion than any other segment of our population.
Minnesota leads the nation in the termination of parental rights (for profit), especially among the poor and minority families in our community (people who can least afford to fight back financially), and with no other State even close to our numbers. It also follows that Minnesota is also number one in the nation in terms of the number of children going into its foster care system (for profit). Minnesota is also number one in terms of the number of children coming back into the foster care system permanently from out-of-home-placement. I could go on but it would be more of the same. (see: www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb--Child welfare Reviews or Data Info Systems) In this life sometimes it is terrific to be "number 1"-and sometimes not.
In my presentation to the Minnesota Supreme Court "Listening Session" panel on August 24th I warned that a lack of psychological testing for those on and around the family court "bench’, lack of judicial oversight and supervision, and absolute lack of "checks and balances"-accountability-- throughout their interconnected "systems" will always breed an out-of-control atmosphere. Additionally, a lack of responsible attitudes and behavior amongst those who participate in it only serve to exacerbate existing problems. Like the blind leading the blind, the family court / family services "wrecking machine" simply grinds up everything in its path with dispassion and resulting in this sort of tragedy.
I warned that covering up for the antics of untried and emotionally untested judicial officers, and ancillary Courtroom bit "players" has forced far too many Minnesota families to live in the open and gaping emotional wounds of far too many people sitting on and around the family court "bench", and identified by many familiar to this arena as clearly suffering from what those in the know refer to as "black robe disease"-
They say that "power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely". This is exactly where we find ourselves today and the casualties are not acceptable to us, and should not be acceptable to anyone else. Because "absolute power" also kills.
I warned that the atmosphere created by their collective lack of ordinary care, saturated with the political whining of "stakeholder groups" (looking for more steak), a lazy and careless judiciary refusing to monitor their own, social engineering from and around the bench, and the lining of pockets for political and financial gain-creates generational destruction. With clarity I testified that all of the above was clearly destroying Minnesota families, and killing our children, a fact that I (we) have been repeating loud and clear to our legislators, bureaucrats, and top judiciary personnel since 1992, and for some of our group, since 1984.
Some of its victims like Mikayla Tester have not survived its impact, while far too many others are left as the walking wounded for generations to come as future dysfunctional adults, and as survivors of the family court wars, and left to become societal misfits and generational "time-bombs". As proof of this point we would refer to the Jonesboro Arkansas tragedy of seven years ago, and with deep Minnesota roots as a prime example of what can and does go terribly wrong when we are not taking care. There are consequences to be certain.
In my presentation on August 24th I warned the Minnesota Supreme Court Chief Justice Kathleen Blatz, Justice Sam Hanson, and the panel, that "it is now getting progressively dangerous" to ignore these very real problems and the Minnesota families impacted by this unchecked "system".
Perhaps it is time for you to let them know how you feel as well.